Wednesday, December 17, 2014

Challenging the Ninth - Holding back the lies


A couple weeks ago I was asked what I thought of a neighbor’s two-month old baby. My friend asked me if the baby was adorable. I honestly couldn’t say “Yes”. I had to think about my answer for a moment. Like most of us, I’ve been told my whole life that all babies are adorable. Well, let’s be honest. They aren’t. In fact, some are downright scary, with their red blotchy skin, screaming little mouths and toothless grins. (Yes, I do realize I may also look that way in another 50 years.) So, let me tell you the truth, that baby looked like a miniature tomcat, shaved bald. I was expecting it to point its finger up and whisper a hoarse sounding “Precioussssss” like Gollum from The Hobbit. But I couldn’t tell anyone that. What I did say was the truth; that the baby was a blessing to the family and a gift from God. Period. I gave my opinion but I didn’t have to express every thought that came into my head. I didn’t have to be harsh but I didn’t have to lie. I chose not express all my thoughts (though I did take them to the Lord) rather than lie about it. It took restraint, because honestly, I like to make people laugh. I try not to create giggles at anyone else’s expense. However, in my quest for smile-making or side-splitting verbiage, sometimes the truth that comes out of my mouth is a bit bolder than it should be.

So, as you can tell, I’ve had a challenge with the Ninth Commandment. I tend to take it to the extreme with the truth-sharing because I know that lying is easy and can become a huge stumbling block in our walk with God. We all have challenges with the Ninth, don’t we? (This is the one in the Bible that talks about not lying, by the way.)
Another challenge with the Ninth came up recently when I realized that a prescription I’d had filled was low. I’d only had it for 14 days yet there was only 1 dose left. I’d been so busy when I got it filled that I didn’t pay attention that I wasn’t given the full prescription. It was a big deal, although it was merely an inexpensive, non-narcotic pill that helps me keep my potassium up. I thought for sure the Pharmacist wouldn’t believe that I didn’t receive the whole prescription since I’d had it filled just 2 weeks prior and hadn’t said anything about a shortage. I was afraid if I called them with the truth of the matter, they wouldn’t fix the problem. I considered lying, telling them I’d dropped the pills or misplaced them. I thought those explanations seemed more plausible than the truth. I also didn’t want the hassle or embarrassment of stating that I hadn’t paid close enough attention. I didn’t want them thinking I was trying to get medication for free either. So, I thought I’d just lie. But conviction kept coming at me.

Every time I picked up the phone to call the pharmacy to tell them some made-up story, I hung up. I didn’t want to lie but yet I wanted to. I prayed, “Lord, I want to lie. I’m admitting it. I just want to lie and make my day easier. Please help me to tell the truth. You know I need this medication. Please work this out.” I didn’t hang up the next time I called. When the tech answered, I explained what happened. She asked me to hold on. The Pharmacist came on the phone and asked me to bring the bottle in to her. I did as she asked and after five minutes she came back with it filled, stating that they had a new computerized dispenser and sure enough, it hadn’t dispensed the proper amount in the first place. It had given me exactly half my prescription and she was able to tell this by doing a quick audit of their new system. It wasn’t as big of a deal as I thought it would be and the Pharmacist thanked me. Up to that point, the only issue they’d seen was it dispensing too much medication. Now they knew they had other things to fix. Wow, I was obedient and God was faithful! He made it easier than I thought it could ever be. Our human brain tends to think the easier thing is to stand for a lie because it often seems to be the effortless way out. Lying can indeed be effortless in the moment but the consequences can be enormous.
You may say to yourself that you don’t lie, but have you ever told someone you thought they looked wonderful even though in your heart you just didn’t think so? Perhaps you felt sorry for that person and you wanted to spare their feelings. Perhaps you ran into an old friend who just seemed down, ragged, having a really bad day. What’s the first thing that came out of your mouth? After “Hello”, it likely was some sort of fib. Those little fibs come naturally to us. Our culture encourages it. Even our Christian culture encourages it. Hmmm, thinking you don’t fall into the ‘fibber’ category? When was the last time someone asked you how you were doing and you said, “Great”? When in all reality you were feeling horribly stressed, your house was in shambles and you’d just had a fight with your spouse?

Telling a lie. What a simple thing in the grand plan of life. ‘Little white lies’ as many people call them are actually small dark seeds we plant in the middle of our path to the future God has for us. You may not see the weeds now but those seeds will grow and the weeds will get in your way. Lies can easily cross our lips and fly right out the mouth if we don’t practice holding them back. Though we find ourselves bombarded with temptation to lie every single day, God wouldn’t ask us not to, unless it was possible to refrain from it.

It can be difficult not to lie, especially when you’re concerned about being a burden or afraid of hurting someone’s feelings. Like you, I don’t want to tell someone, “I had an awful day and I’m just not doing well.” Or “Wow, you have baby spit-up on your shirt and really need to shower.” But the reality is, sometimes we need others to know what we’re going thru because we need prayer or support, even if we don’t share all the itty bitty details. We can share truths gently, in a Christ-like way. We don’t have to lie. Perhaps that old friend you ran into needs someone to tell her she has baby spit-up on her shirt. What if she was on her way to an important job interview looking that way and no one told her? You can be honest and say things with care and love. A lie should not be your automatic response in any situation. It takes practice being honest in ALL things but God never asks us to do something He doesn’t intend on helping us with. All we have to do is ask Him for that help.

And yes, I have learned that I don’t have to tell someone their baby looks “Preciousss” with a Gollum-style hiss in my voice. But I can tell them their baby IS precious because he or she truly is.

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And for some Biblical back up, check out these verses on lying and what the Bible has to say about it.
Leviticus 19:11 You shall not steal, neither deal falsely, neither lie one to another.

Psalms 119:163 I hate and abhor lying: but your law do I love.

Proverbs 12:22 Lying lips are abomination to the LORD: but they that deal truly are his delight.

Proverbs 13:5 A righteous man hates lying: but a wicked man is loathsome, and comes to shame.

Proverbs 14:5 A faithful witness will not lie: but a false witness will utter lies.

Proverbs 17:7 Excellent speech becomes not a fool: much less do lying lips a prince.

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