Letting go of the past

How many times have you been told, while you’re venting about your feelings, to “Just let it go. Move on.”? Honestly, I get a bit irked when I’m trying to share my feelings and I get cut off with a nonchalant statement meant to shut me down. There is nothing wrong with letting your feelings out. There is nothing wrong with sharing with others what has happened in your past. Sharing your experiences can help bring others through their difficult times. When we’re brought through a situation and God has given us strength or knowledge through it, or even hindsight long afterwards, it’s our duty to help encourage others in similar situations. By letting others know we came through a similarly difficult time, we not only help them but we hopefully will glorify God in the middle of it. 2 Corinthians 12:9 states, “And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” When we’ve been made stronger through a problem or have allowed Christ’s strength to get us through, we should boast all the more! However, boasting of Christ’s strength; sharing how He got us through the tough times, is not the same thing as holding on to the past and lamenting about it over and over again.

One thing most of us are far too good at is retaining past pains and pressing them into our today, instead of using them briefly to help others and then setting them back in a memory file of the past where they belong. We have this natural instinct in our brains to bring up all the old scenarios of what we did wrong or how wronged we were by others. Understanding what went wrong at various times in our lives is essential to learning. But we shouldn’t live in the pity and persecution of the past either. There is a balance to be had.

I’ve met women who wear their past mistreatments and painful relationships as a badge or as a banner waving above their heads that lists a line of adjectives describing who they think they are because of what they’ve been through. Let me state for the record, WHO you are is not WHAT you’ve been through. WHO you are solely depends on WHOSE you are. No matter what you’ve been through or who has done what to you, there comes a time when you must choose what you want to be. What you are depends on who you are. When you figure out that you belong to Jesus…then you are His. WHOSE you are will then begin to slowly define who you are and what you do day in and day out. It will mold your choices, your actions and reactions; your words, how you spend your time, how you view family and how you view your future. It can also help you see your past for what it truly was and also help you create a determination deep within to not allow your past to live in the middle of your today!

If you had that banner above your head, what would yours say? “Cheated on? Abused? Neglected? Fired? Manipulated? Beat up? Bruised? Broken? Taken for granted? Ashamed? Adulterer?” I’m sure each of us could recite a litany of adjectives or verbs describing the many ways pain and anger have set up in our lives, creating labels in our heads. The key is letting go of those labels from the past and replacing them with who you are today. If you are His, then perhaps you can get out a permanent marker, scratch over those labels you’ve given yourself and write “Forgiven. Unashamed. Knowledgeable. Authentic. Willing. Reconciled. Open. Molded. Healing. Honest.” With these kind of unjaded, Christ-inspired labels and a new mindset, letting go of the past will be easier. And as you let go of the strong hold the past has on you, you will be able to share about your past on occasion. You will be able to sit in a group of women or one on one with someone else who needs to hear about your shame, your pain and your brokenness…and not just share the difficulties but share how God forgave you, renewed you and made you His…boasting all the more for what He has done for you since.

Karen A. McCracken
www.womaninspired.com