Letting go of the past

How many times have you been told, while you’re venting about your feelings, to “Just let it go. Move on.”? Honestly, I get a bit irked when I’m trying to share my feelings and I get cut off with a nonchalant statement meant to shut me down. There is nothing wrong with letting your feelings out. There is nothing wrong with sharing with others what has happened in your past. Sharing your experiences can help bring others through their difficult times. When we’re brought through a situation and God has given us strength or knowledge through it, or even hindsight long afterwards, it’s our duty to help encourage others in similar situations. By letting others know we came through a similarly difficult time, we not only help them but we hopefully will glorify God in the middle of it. 2 Corinthians 12:9 states, “And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” When we’ve been made stronger through a problem or have allowed Christ’s strength to get us through, we should boast all the more! However, boasting of Christ’s strength; sharing how He got us through the tough times, is not the same thing as holding on to the past and lamenting about it over and over again.

One thing most of us are far too good at is retaining past pains and pressing them into our today, instead of using them briefly to help others and then setting them back in a memory file of the past where they belong. We have this natural instinct in our brains to bring up all the old scenarios of what we did wrong or how wronged we were by others. Understanding what went wrong at various times in our lives is essential to learning. But we shouldn’t live in the pity and persecution of the past either. There is a balance to be had.

I’ve met women who wear their past mistreatments and painful relationships as a badge or as a banner waving above their heads that lists a line of adjectives describing who they think they are because of what they’ve been through. Let me state for the record, WHO you are is not WHAT you’ve been through. WHO you are solely depends on WHOSE you are. No matter what you’ve been through or who has done what to you, there comes a time when you must choose what you want to be. What you are depends on who you are. When you figure out that you belong to Jesus…then you are His. WHOSE you are will then begin to slowly define who you are and what you do day in and day out. It will mold your choices, your actions and reactions; your words, how you spend your time, how you view family and how you view your future. It can also help you see your past for what it truly was and also help you create a determination deep within to not allow your past to live in the middle of your today!

If you had that banner above your head, what would yours say? “Cheated on? Abused? Neglected? Fired? Manipulated? Beat up? Bruised? Broken? Taken for granted? Ashamed? Adulterer?” I’m sure each of us could recite a litany of adjectives or verbs describing the many ways pain and anger have set up in our lives, creating labels in our heads. The key is letting go of those labels from the past and replacing them with who you are today. If you are His, then perhaps you can get out a permanent marker, scratch over those labels you’ve given yourself and write “Forgiven. Unashamed. Knowledgeable. Authentic. Willing. Reconciled. Open. Molded. Healing. Honest.” With these kind of unjaded, Christ-inspired labels and a new mindset, letting go of the past will be easier. And as you let go of the strong hold the past has on you, you will be able to share about your past on occasion. You will be able to sit in a group of women or one on one with someone else who needs to hear about your shame, your pain and your brokenness…and not just share the difficulties but share how God forgave you, renewed you and made you His…boasting all the more for what He has done for you since.

Karen A. McCracken
www.womaninspired.com

Breaking Free From OCD

I would say that in today’s culture most everyone has heard of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. If you haven’t seen it portrayed in all it’s infinite, seemingly ‘crazy’ glory via the hit TV show Monk, you’re sure to have seen it played out on reality TV in recent years. MTV, Vh1, TLC, Discovery Channel have each found an audience over the years by spying into the private lives of men and women plagued by Ocd.

In case you’re not sure or in case you have a TV Sunday Night movie idea of just what Ocd is, let me just state that Ocd is far more than a need for cleanliness and symmetry in one’s daily life. It has, over the years, morphed from being considered some sort of insanity, to a neurosis, to a chemical imbalance, to an anxiety disorder. No matter what science prefers to label it today, it is a very real source of emotional and mental torture for more than 2% of the population. While parallel fights ensue in the world of psychology and biology over just what causes Ocd, there is no question that the millions of people who suffer from it seek relief over and over again. For some, that relief is found via medications, changes in diet and counseling. For others, there seems to be no relief at all. For me, it was my faith in God and the plan He gave me that set healing in motion for this once Ocd entrapped person.

Over 14 years ago I found relief for my Ocd, without drugs. In fact, taking a medication never occurred to me. I’m not against pharmaceutical help if needed. But for me, faith was the solution. In some ways I suffered the form of Ocd called ‘scrupulosity’. I was afraid every little thing I did was going to be seen as wrong in God’s eyes, that He was judging me harshly. I was afraid not to seek God for fear I would be rejected. But it wasn’t a healthy kind of ‘fear of the Lord’; it was a deep alarming fear of God, of people, places, death, circumstances…almost everything. Some people are so plagued by religious fear due to their Ocd that they never get past the religiousness to discover God and freedom through Him.

Ocd manifested in many other ways in my life besides what I now know was merely religion. (What I have now is faith and belief, not religion.) My memories of suffering with Ocd stretch back to the age of 8. With each passing year my compulsive behaviors became worse. By the time I was 30 I was nearly fully home-bound, unable to keep a regular job and afraid of everything.

Fear – that’s the driving force behind Ocd. A real, succinct, deep-seeded fear of…well, anything and everything imaginable. Sometimes the fears are rational and sometimes they aren’t. But the need to control something, anything, compels the Ocder to take action…any action, in order to feel better. Hence the counting, repeating, checking, touching, cleaning, hoarding….counting, repeating, checking…

Over time I have realized that if you have a lack of faith then fear will quickly invade your mind; your waking and sleeping thoughts. I also discovered that faith is not the opposite of fear but faith IS the ability to see beyond the fear into the eyes of truth. If fear is darkness then faith is turning the lights on! The opposite of fear is courage. Being courageous is stepping out, moving forward and living even though you feel fear. All you have to do is turn on those lights. Once you can see the lies fear creates in your mind for what they really are, then the brain of the person with Ocd can begin to dispel the many lies that make them feel compelled to obsessive, repetitive, nonsensical actions.

I am a seasoned, experienced, non-suffering Ocder. I wrote a book to help others out and to share the amazing path God took me down in order to manage and heal from the inside out from fear and Ocd! The brain of someone with Ocd is compelling, intelligent and sharp. I learned to use my Ocd to control my Ocd! And that means you can too. God lifted my fear and helped me move beyond the Ocd behaviors that plagued me.

My quest is to help others see that Ocd IS something you can live with, control, eradicate, deal with, move beyond and you CAN keep it from stealing your joy. Through faith, even if your faith is currently enveloped in Ocd, you can find healing.

To read more of my story and how God helped me break free from Ocd, check out my book "Breaking Free From OCD".
Softcover version: Breaking Free From OCD
iTunes iBook: Breaking Free From OCD
Amazon Kindle: Breaking Free From OCD

For more information about Karen and how to schedule her to speak at your conference or retreat, go to www.womaninspired.com

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Healing all the broken pieces

“He personally bore our sins in His (own) body on the tree (as on an altar and offered Himself on it), that we might die (cease to exist) to sin and live to righteousness. By His wounds you have been healed.” I Peter 2:24 (Amplified Bible)

Healing has been an intense theme in my life since I was in my early twenties. I sought God out for healing from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, severe adhesions, bladder and kidney problems, hemophilia, a brain aneurysm, broken relationships, infertility, Ehlers Danlos Syndrome (EDS)…the list goes on. This list might sound meager perhaps compared to yours. Or you may be wondering how in the world my list got so long. But truthfully I am no different than most women. We are each broken vessels, in one way or another, that need to be healed. God has healed many of my physical ailments, though not all. God has put His hand on my heart and my emotions and comforted me many times. What He has not healed me from, He has brought me through and shown me how to use it to help others. He has helped heal all the little cracks inside that used to let my joy escape…and now I am able to hold joy even during the times when my circumstances look seemingly impossible to be joyful about.

We were all born into a sinful world, not of our own doing, and as we walk the path with God or apart from Him, healing is what most people seek. We may call it other things, such as: striving for success, seeking financial freedom, longing for love relationships or ‘reaching for the stars’ but when it comes down to the core of each of these things, what our heart cries out for is fulfillment through spiritual, emotional, mental or physical healing; For if we feel the need to be better, greater, more fulfilled, then we must surmise that we are unfulfilled, incomplete – empty or broken – in one or more of area.

God’s Word tells us that Jesus died for our iniquities. He died for the places inside us that are broken. He died as a sacrifice for our sins and out broken parts. He died to heal the inner-most parts of who we are – the parts that are broken and hurting – that we might be restored and returned to His arms. Because of our hurts most of us attempt to fill ourselves up with things of this world. Many of these pursuits involve sinful tactics and selfish actions to achieve a desired status or recognition. Or they involve filling us with fruitless pursuits that may or may not garner us self-satisfaction, higher wagers, better titles, more accolades. If you’ve come to a place in your life where you realize that the pursuit of all these things is truly is fruitless (bearing no fruit, reaping nothing of substance, lacking in daily nourishment.), then perhaps it’s time to step back and reassess.

I don’t have the answers for your life but I know the One who does. I know that if I pursue God and His path for me rather than what the world expects of me, then I am fully nourished. I don’t feel lost, hungry, empty or afraid. I do feel excited, eager, encouraged, ready to wake up and see what God has next for me…and even when I do feel trepidation or nervousness over what He might expect me to do, I know I am not alone. Where He asks me to go, He will be with me.

If you seek God, you will Him and the path your heart truly desires. If you ask for forgiveness for wasting time, spinning your wheels and letting the world dictate who you should be, He will give it to you. And more importantly, you’ll begin to have healing and fulfillment like you’ve never had before. You are a vessel for God’s love. If you’re broken, allow Him to take you in His hands and heal you. A cup that has cracks in it won’t hold anything for very long, especially joy. God can repair those broken pieces and put you back together in a mighty and beautiful way. I pray you allow Him to.

For more inspiration, check out the book “PMS ~ Praising My Savior” A 28 day devotional for women.

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