Challenging the Ninth - Holding back the lies

A couple weeks ago I was asked what I thought of a neighbor’s two-month old baby. My friend asked me if the baby was adorable. I honestly couldn’t say “Yes”. I had to think about my answer for a moment. Like most of us, I’ve been told my whole life that all babies are adorable. Well, let’s be honest. They aren’t. In fact, some are downright scary, with their red blotchy skin, screaming little mouths and toothless grins. (Yes, I do realize I may also look that way in another 50 years.) So, let me tell you the truth, that baby looked like a miniature tomcat, shaved bald. I was expecting it to point its finger up and whisper a hoarse sounding “Precioussssss” like Gollum from The Hobbit. But I couldn’t tell anyone that. What I did say was the truth; that the baby was a blessing to the family and a gift from God. Period. I gave my opinion but I didn’t have to express every thought that came into my head. I didn’t have to be harsh but I didn’t have to lie. I chose not express all my thoughts (though I did take them to the Lord) rather than lie about it. It took restraint, because honestly, I like to make people laugh. I try not to create giggles at anyone else’s expense. However, in my quest for smile-making or side-splitting verbiage, sometimes the truth that comes out of my mouth is a bit bolder than it should be.

So, as you can tell, I’ve had a challenge with the Ninth Commandment. I tend to take it to the extreme with the truth-sharing because I know that lying is easy and can become a huge stumbling block in our walk with God. We all have challenges with the Ninth, don’t we? (This is the one in the Bible that talks about not lying, by the way.)
Another challenge with the Ninth came up recently when I realized that a prescription I’d had filled was low. I’d only had it for 14 days yet there was only 1 dose left. I’d been so busy when I got it filled that I didn’t pay attention that I wasn’t given the full prescription. It was a big deal, although it was merely an inexpensive, non-narcotic pill that helps me keep my potassium up. I thought for sure the Pharmacist wouldn’t believe that I didn’t receive the whole prescription since I’d had it filled just 2 weeks prior and hadn’t said anything about a shortage. I was afraid if I called them with the truth of the matter, they wouldn’t fix the problem. I considered lying, telling them I’d dropped the pills or misplaced them. I thought those explanations seemed more plausible than the truth. I also didn’t want the hassle or embarrassment of stating that I hadn’t paid close enough attention. I didn’t want them thinking I was trying to get medication for free either. So, I thought I’d just lie. But conviction kept coming at me.

Every time I picked up the phone to call the pharmacy to tell them some made-up story, I hung up. I didn’t want to lie but yet I wanted to. I prayed, “Lord, I want to lie. I’m admitting it. I just want to lie and make my day easier. Please help me to tell the truth. You know I need this medication. Please work this out.” I didn’t hang up the next time I called. When the tech answered, I explained what happened. She asked me to hold on. The Pharmacist came on the phone and asked me to bring the bottle in to her. I did as she asked and after five minutes she came back with it filled, stating that they had a new computerized dispenser and sure enough, it hadn’t dispensed the proper amount in the first place. It had given me exactly half my prescription and she was able to tell this by doing a quick audit of their new system. It wasn’t as big of a deal as I thought it would be and the Pharmacist thanked me. Up to that point, the only issue they’d seen was it dispensing too much medication. Now they knew they had other things to fix. Wow, I was obedient and God was faithful! He made it easier than I thought it could ever be. Our human brain tends to think the easier thing is to stand for a lie because it often seems to be the effortless way out. Lying can indeed be effortless in the moment but the consequences can be enormous.
You may say to yourself that you don’t lie, but have you ever told someone you thought they looked wonderful even though in your heart you just didn’t think so? Perhaps you felt sorry for that person and you wanted to spare their feelings. Perhaps you ran into an old friend who just seemed down, ragged, having a really bad day. What’s the first thing that came out of your mouth? After “Hello”, it likely was some sort of fib. Those little fibs come naturally to us. Our culture encourages it. Even our Christian culture encourages it. Hmmm, thinking you don’t fall into the ‘fibber’ category? When was the last time someone asked you how you were doing and you said, “Great”? When in all reality you were feeling horribly stressed, your house was in shambles and you’d just had a fight with your spouse?

Telling a lie. What a simple thing in the grand plan of life. ‘Little white lies’ as many people call them are actually small dark seeds we plant in the middle of our path to the future God has for us. You may not see the weeds now but those seeds will grow and the weeds will get in your way. Lies can easily cross our lips and fly right out the mouth if we don’t practice holding them back. Though we find ourselves bombarded with temptation to lie every single day, God wouldn’t ask us not to, unless it was possible to refrain from it.

It can be difficult not to lie, especially when you’re concerned about being a burden or afraid of hurting someone’s feelings. Like you, I don’t want to tell someone, “I had an awful day and I’m just not doing well.” Or “Wow, you have baby spit-up on your shirt and really need to shower.” But the reality is, sometimes we need others to know what we’re going thru because we need prayer or support, even if we don’t share all the itty bitty details. We can share truths gently, in a Christ-like way. We don’t have to lie. Perhaps that old friend you ran into needs someone to tell her she has baby spit-up on her shirt. What if she was on her way to an important job interview looking that way and no one told her? You can be honest and say things with care and love. A lie should not be your automatic response in any situation. It takes practice being honest in ALL things but God never asks us to do something He doesn’t intend on helping us with. All we have to do is ask Him for that help.

And yes, I have learned that I don’t have to tell someone their baby looks “Preciousss” with a Gollum-style hiss in my voice. But I can tell them their baby IS precious because he or she truly is.

For more info about Karen and how to book her for your next retreat or conference, go to www.womaninspired.com
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And for some Biblical back up, check out these verses on lying and what the Bible has to say about it.
Leviticus 19:11 You shall not steal, neither deal falsely, neither lie one to another.

Psalms 119:163 I hate and abhor lying: but your law do I love.

Proverbs 12:22 Lying lips are abomination to the LORD: but they that deal truly are his delight.

Proverbs 13:5 A righteous man hates lying: but a wicked man is loathsome, and comes to shame.

Proverbs 14:5 A faithful witness will not lie: but a false witness will utter lies.

Proverbs 17:7 Excellent speech becomes not a fool: much less do lying lips a prince.

For a list of other awesome Christian blogs, go to: Christian Poets and Writers Blog

My Heart's Desire

Sometimes in life we act like little children. God calls us to be child-like in our faith: open, easy to trust Him, ready to believe in Him. But He does not call us to be childish. Childishness is based in immaturity and acting as a child would. Child-like infers possessing the endearing qualities that children hold, rather than the childish qualities that life and growth beckon us to leave behind as we get older. When we Christians maintain a childish attitude then we face life expecting everything to be handed to us and when we don't get what we want we throw a fit, pout or sit down to wallow in our own self-made bed of pity.

There are times in life that, no matter our growth in the Lord, we retreat back to a childish place; most especially if He is calling us to wait on Him for something. Oh, we often do not like to be patient and wait on God's timing for things. There are times I have thought for sure He was giving me a message and guidance in a particular direction but then when I walked the way He told me to, the outcome was different than I thought it would be or the very thing I thought for sure He was going to bless me with was not there waiting for me when I thought my task was accomplished. Don't get me wrong, I don't walk a path He sends me down just to receive a particular blessing but I do know that as I am more obedient in Him, blessings will reign. I know that the closer I am to my Lord, the more clearly His word will be to me. Psalms 37: 4 says: Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. I believe this and live with this truth written upon my heart but what has inevitably happened to me at times in the past is that I did not hold out with faith and patience. I waited for His guidance but then did not stay the course long enough to find out the fullness of His plan or for Him to give me the true desire of my heart.

Wouldn't it be an empty, loveless world if He never completed what He started? But He does. He proved this by the coming of the Messiah His son and by His death on the cross for our sins. He will come again to judge the living and the dead, also as He said He would. It should be our goal to be more Christ-like and yet too many times God calls us to something and we humans never complete the task or we don't hold on with patience and faith as He calls us to do. Like Paul, we must run the race and not give up…we are not to falter nor to waiver in our steadfastness but hold on for that which He has called us.

I recently likened my own faults in this area to that of a child on Christmas morning: the child who hints and begs for a particular gift for months ahead of time. At times we are all like the child who drops hints so strongly that it turns into cute notes left here and there for months, joking about a special gift and even circling pictures in the Sunday ads of that very thing she so much longs to have. Then, when the beautiful day comes, morning being filled with all kinds of excitement, this child rushes to the gifts and searches under the tree. After unwrapping every gift she has, she sits dismayed, slumped over…the boxes, bags and goodies that came were all so wonderful but the one thing she wanted the most was not there. The very gift that she almost begged for and even did extra chores throughout the year hoping to somehow earn was just not under the tree. On knees, head bowed, tears slowly spilling on to her cheeks, she gives up. But the child, in her childish ways, did not look up to see her father coming out of the closet…where he had been all night long putting together the shiny, new pink bike – the very gift she had longed for and prayed for all along.

We are often childish like the child at Christmas time. We want what we want and even if we hold out faith for it we often expect it at a certain time because we think it's the right time for it…and when we don't get it then we give up. We forget that God's timing is not ours OR worse yet, we don't care if God's timing is not ours. We still want what we want when we want it. Tears come easily after a long race or a long and bumpy path but even amongst the tears, He can still be waiting just around the corner with that beautiful thing our heart desires so very much. So, do not give up. Do not quit. We must press on just as Paul did. We must keep running the race. Again, we are called to be child-like in our faith and devotion to our God but not to be childish and immature in our approach to our God and His plan for this life.

Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. All of us who are mature should take such a view of things… Phil 3: 12-15

~ Karen
www.womaninspired.com

Refuge and refueling

“For in the day of trouble He will hide me in His shelter; in the secret place of His tent He will hide me; He will set me high upon a rock.” Psalm 27:5 (NIV)

There are days I want nothing more than to run and hide. Whether due to stress or emotions, there are days I just want to curl up in bed with the covers over my head. Those are the days I’ve learned that I need to seek God even more.

Some days there is no actual trouble I’m hiding from. Sometimes it’s just the world around me and the daily “to do” list that has me seeking shelter. In today’s culture women have even more titles than ever before: home-maker, bread-baker, seamstress, maid, taxi-cab driver, Mom, daughter, wife, care-giver, professional…add to that the tasks of balancing the household finances, volunteering at church and keeping up with all the little pieces of life in between and it’s no wonder so many women are worn out and empty-feeling.

If you’re tempted to retreat from life and all those responsibilities on a regular basis then I encourage you to immediately fall to your knees or rest your head for a moment as you close your eyes and seek God for that place of spiritual refuge. Even if it’s only for a moment or two, God can overcome your heart and your weariness with a fresh message from the Bible or just a whisper to your heart.

And then I encourage you to do what took me waaaay too many years to do: take time for yourself. Set up regularly built-in breaks for yourself. Take time to read, go to lunch, go for a walk or just pamper yourself. God-time and personal respite time will make all the difference in your daily life; whether your hormones are telling you that you do or do not, you DO deserve it.

Feeling like you’re Running On E’, check out the following book for inspiration and encouragement on how to fuel up the right way! Running On E’ (now available as an Ebook and on iTunes)

For more devotionals, check out 28 days of PMS ~ Praising My Savior

Seeking Christian Spiritual LifeCoaching and encouragement along the way? See LifeCoachInspired.com

To schedule Karen for your next conference, retreat or ministry event, go to www.womaninspired.com

Out of the flesh and into faith

“I waited patiently and expectantly for the Lord; and he inclined to me and heard my cry. He drew me up out of a horrible pit (a pit of tumult and of destruction), out of the miry clay (froth and slime), and set my feet upon a rock, steadying my steps and establishing my goings. And He has put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God. Many shall see and fear (revere and worship) and put their trust and confident reliance in the Lord.” Psalm 40:1-3 (Amplified Bible)

When God first gave me the idea for PMS – Praising My Savior – as a theme in my life, it seemed ridiculous to me but the more I spoke it out and shared it with other women the more His ideas resonated with me…and not just with me but with many other women as well.

In my twenties and early thirties I was so caught up in what my body was doing that I could barely think of anything else. I had chronic pain, infertility issues, many surgeries and subsequent depression due to my physical ailments and inconsistent periods. I surrounded myself with reminders that I was trapped in a body that didn’t work as I thought it should. I felt inadequate for not being able to have a child and I felt worthless as a woman.

In an attempt to make myself feel better and catch the attention of my husband in the midst of a failing marriage, I went on a radical diet. (If you could call it a diet, that is. I think you actually have to eat something most days to call it a diet!) I also took to exercising 2 and 3 times a day for more than an hour at a time. I thought for sure IF I’d lose weight then all my troubles would go away. I thought IF I would lose pounds then my marriage would be healed and I would feel more attractive.


I did indeed lose weight, drastically. I lost more than 30 pounds in one month. I also started to lose my hair, became dehydrated and my fingernails started to split and fall off. I became sicker than I’d ever been and I had to have my thyroid medication changed several times to keep up with the ways I was abusing my body. And it did nothing what-so-ever to fix my marriage or my self-esteem.

In the process of being so caught up in my flesh and my ‘woe is me’ attitude, I forgot about my relationship with the Lord. I had stopped praying; opting to take more time to exercise rather than having one-on-one quiet time with the Lord. As I faced another surgery, my wake-up call came and I realized that I hadn’t cried out to the Lord in quite some time.


Through some very personal tragic events and God’s prompting, I finally came back to Him…and He waited patiently, with open arms…expectantly. He set my feet more firmly on the path He wanted me on and this time I paid attention!

If you’re in that place, getting so caught up in what your body is doing, that you’re neglecting your spirit and who you are in the Lord, then you need to stop, drop and assess the toll your self-centeredness has taken on who you truly are. Go back to the basics: quiet time every single day with God and His Word. Get out of your flesh and back into His arms. When you do, He truly will put a new song in your mouth.

For more devotionals and inspiration check out “28 Days of PMS ~ Praising My Savior” or “Running On E’

For ebook formats check out iTunes: Womaninspired books

The Faithful Son

Not so long ago there was a smart, witty, God-fearing boy who longed to be continually on God’s path, growing in His presence, wisdom and love. This boy awoke one morning, hearing the voice of God tell him to rise and go down the road beside his house...and to keep walking. The boy didn't know where he was going or why God wanted him to go; he just knew that he heard the voice of God and he wasn't going to ignore it.

A little ways down the road he felt a strong stirring to try to see what was at the end of the road. As he peered ahead he could see a great and beautiful tree - just the tops of it because it was quite a distance away. The closer he got to the tree, the more he could see of it and even though he wanted to run, he could hear God telling him to walk and be patient. And so he did walk and he was as patient as he could muster up the strength to be. He was also as obedient as he could be along the path even though at times the walk was exhausting. (Truth be told, his eagerness got the best of him once or twice and he DID stop along the side of the road and climb a tree or two in order to get a better look at this beautiful place God was sending him.)

As the road would take a turn and then go around another bend, the boy never gave up...though he got tired, dusty, too hot, too cold and hungry he kept going. Not once did God fail to provide for him along the path. As he walked further down the path, the boy could see the tree with all its beautiful fruit and foliage getting closer and closer. With his destination clear, he knew he had somehow earned God's favor, not just his grace and mercy. Even when he had occasion to doubt God because he would lose sight of that tree when he went into a valley or as he made his way up the back side of a steep hill, the boy didn't lose faith because he knew God had given him a vision of what was to come.

One day the boy walked up and over a small rise and lo’ and behold, there was the magnificently beautiful tree right in front of him. It had gorgeous tender flowers all over it with the most delicious looking fruit. As he approached the tree he began to cry out in joy and praises to God for bringing him to this blessed destination. But as he praised God he heard His voice once again. The voice of God was saying, "My son, this is not your destination." The boy thought perhaps he was hearing wrong but again God said "My son, this is not your destination."

Bewildered, the boy didn't know what to do. For so long he had seen this tree in his sights and kept moving forward just to partake of what he thought God wanted him to have. God spoke to the boy and said "My son, if you will look closely, the path I laid out for you does not lead to this tree. It goes beside the tree but the path continues on...and so must you."

Disappointed, doubtful and angry, the boy refused to walk any further. Sitting, leaning against the tree, the boy began to cry; at first out of anger and then self-pity. He loved this tree. He had come to know it as a sign of hope, a friend, a welcome vision in the distance. And yet, as he sat below the tree, leaning against it he realized that there was no one and nothing else that mattered more to him than God. Staying in this place that he was not destined for meant he would lose out on the destination God DID have for him. He prayed and realized that if this magnificent place was not his destination then God must surely have something even greater in mind for him. He couldn't imagine anything better but he knew what God's Word said. God's imagination and creativity was far greater than his own. Surely God would be with him as he moved forward.

So, resolved to step out in faith once again, the boy got up, dusted the dirt off his feet and continued walking. Choosing to be like Lot, he did not look back. In fondness he remembered the tree...but in thankfulness he remembered the walk and ALL he had experienced thus far.

As the boy continued forward he came to what he thought was a dead-end; but truly it was a sharp, sharp turn. Step by step the boy managed the sharpness of the steep turn. It surely was worth the effort if God had taken such care to create it for him and it was definitely not the most difficult turn or steepest hill his path had brought him to thus far…so in sheer obedience, he continued. And as he finally conquered the difficult steps, he gave it his all as he headed around another small curve. As he did so, the most brilliant scene came before him...far more beautiful than the previous one. He stopped, awed at the beautiful creation he was witnessing. As he looked around, his heart swelled to see that his path led straight to the most amazing tree he had ever seen; bathed in a beautiful, glowing light; perfumed with the most precious of flowers. And then the boy fell to his knees as he heard God's voice say, "This is what I have prepared for you my son...well done faithful one. Well done."

Karen VanderMarliere- McCracken
© 2011 Womaninspired.com


At times we tend to think that we know just what God has planned for us. Or perhaps, most likely, we make a plan and ask God to bless it. Often, we beg Him to bless it and make it His will for us. When all the while, He has a path already mapped out for us. Sometimes He gives an idea of where we’re headed but the challenge is to take things one day at a time, one step at a time but never, ever out of His will or off His path. Thought we may get weary, worn out or impatient we never need worry because our God will not forsake us. He will always provide for us out of His great storehouse. He will never leave us nor abandon us as so many others do. As we trudge up one hill and down the other side; around the sharp curves and rocky turns, His strength and His Holy Spirit will be with each of us. As we seek to walk where He calls us, no doubt we will occasionally get off track, but our quest is to continue on and fulfill His plan…reaching the destinations along the way that He has for each of us. And reaching our final destination…in His arms.

In Him,

Karen